First day at nursery: settling in, and capturing the moment

The bag packed, the cuddly toy along for the ride, and then that moment at the door of the room. The first day at nursery is a real milestone, and usually more nerve-racking for you than for your child. A few small things make settling in gentler, and help you capture the moment so you can look back on it with a smile.

Making settling in a little gentler

• Build up with settling-in sessions. Most nurseries plan a few short settling-in visits before your child stays for a whole day. Make use of them, for your own sake too.
• Send something familiar. A cuddly toy, a dummy or a small muslin that smells of home gives them something to hold on to.
• Keep the goodbye short and clear. A long, hesitant goodbye makes it harder. A big hug, a wave, and then really walk away, however unnatural that feels.
• Trust the nursery staff. They see new children settling in every week. Feel free to ring around lunchtime if that reassures you.

Capture the moment

Just like the first day at school, this is a photo you'll treasure later: your child at the entrance with a bag that's far too big, or that little hand in the hand of a member of staff. Take one at drop-off and one at pick-up. The difference between those two looks is usually the best part of the whole day.

Keep the updates you get from the nursery

Many nurseries send photos through the day via a parent app or email: your child at the table, outside in the sandpit, asleep in their cot. They're gorgeous, and they disappear just as easily, into your inbox or into an app you never open again once nursery is over. Keep the best ones on your child's timeline, together with your own photo of that first day. That way the whole nursery period ends up in one place instead of spread across three apps.

Write down how it went

Jot down a few sentences. How your child reacted, how you felt at that first goodbye, who their key worker was, whether they'd already made a friend. Those are exactly the details you'll have forgotten yourself within a year, and the ones your child will love reading about later.