Keeping a pregnancy diary: tips for the first 9 months

A pregnancy lasts nine months. The memories of it fade faster than you think. How did that first scan feel? When did you feel the first kick? What went through your mind the evening the test was positive?

A pregnancy diary holds on to that time. For yourself, and later for your child too: this is the story of before they existed.

You forget the pregnancy faster than the birth

Many parents only start keeping records after the birth, with the first steps and the first words. That's a shame. The months before are just as special: the expectation, the nerves, the endless dreaming about who this child will become.

The nerves before the 20-week scan. The discussions about names that didn't make it in the end. How, in the last few weeks, you could only lie on your left side. Those details disappear if you don't write them down.

Later, your child can read this as the prologue to their own life. Which names you considered, what you hoped for, how it felt when the contractions started. Those are the pages that make people go quiet when they find them again years later.

Digital or on paper

Both work. A physical diary has its charm: your child can hold it later, with your handwriting in it. Digital is more practical. You keep the scan photos and videos alongside it, and it doesn't get lost in a house move.

For many parents a combination works best: a digital diary for the everyday things, plus a handwritten letter for the really big moments. You scan that afterwards and keep it with the rest.

What do you write in a pregnancy diary?

The first weeks (weeks 1–12): the beginning

• The day of the positive test. What time was it, who was there, what was the first thing you said?
• How you shared the news with your partner, your parents, your friends.
• The first scan. The date, what you saw, how you reacted.
• The first symptoms. Nausea, tiredness, and what helped.
• Your first thoughts about a name.
• What you hoped for and what you were afraid of in those uncertain first weeks.

The second trimester (weeks 13–26): feeling and growing

• The first movement. When did you feel the first kick, and how would you describe that feeling?
• The 20-week scan. Did you want to know the sex? How did you react?
• The bump starting to show. Monthly bump photos are pure gold later.
• The list of names. Which ones were on it, and why were they dropped?
• Getting the nursery ready. What choices did you make, and why those?
• How you felt. More energetic than expected, or not at all?

The third trimester (weeks 27–40): waiting and getting ready

• The baby things. What did you buy yourselves, and what were you given?
• Preparing for the birth. The antenatal class, the plans, the fears.
• The last few weeks. How did you feel, what were you longing for?
• The day the contractions started. What time was it, where were you, what were you thinking?
• The birth plan. What had you planned, and what turned out differently?

The birth itself

The birth deserves a story of its own. Write it down as soon as you can, because the details fade within weeks. How long did the contractions last? Who was there? What was the first thing you thought when you saw your baby? What words did you say, or hear someone else say?

This is the story your child will most often want to hear later. And the one you'll want to read again and again yourself.

How to keep it going

Write in the first person

“I felt you move for the first time on a Thursday evening…” is much more personal than “There was a movement.” Write as if you were telling your child directly, later on. That directness is what makes the diary valuable.

Note down small details

You'll remember the big events anyway. It's the small things that disappear: which song was on the radio, which smell you associate with that time, what the weather was like on the day of the scan.

Save scan photos with context

A scan photo without an explanation is a vague black-and-white smudge. Add “20-week scan, 14 November, we saw your fingers for the first time” and it becomes a memory.

Write when something happens, not every week

A pregnancy diary doesn't have to be neatly chronological. Write after a special scan, after an emotional conversation, after a night lying awake with nerves. Five good entries are worth more than forty obligatory ones.

The diary as a gift for later

Put the pregnancy diary alongside the rest of their childhood, with the milestones, the school years and the drawings. Then, when they're eighteen or twenty-one, you can give your child a complete story of their life, from before birth to adulthood.

In Ouderliefde the pregnancy diary sits in the same timeline as everything that comes after it. With the time capsule you can add a letter that your child only reads at eighteen. That way the story that began before they were born gets an ending too.