In the Netherlands, separating parents with children are legally required to draw up a parenting plan (ouderschapsplan). In it you set out how you share the care: who has the children when, how you communicate, how you handle school, health and holidays. Many other countries have something similar under the name parenting plan.
You usually write the plan once, with a mediator or a lawyer. Then comes carrying it out, month after month, year after year. More and more parents look for an app to help with that. Below are the relevant options for parents in the Netherlands, plus one arrangement that is missing from almost every parenting plan.
What goes into a parenting plan?
The parenting plan is a document both parents sign when they separate. In the Netherlands it must cover:
- How you divide care and upbringing
- How you communicate about the children
- How you split the costs of the children
The plan becomes part of the divorce settlement and is binding. Writing one takes an afternoon. Keeping to it for years is another story.
The arrangement that is almost always missing: photos and memories
Template parenting plans spend pages on the weekly schedule, holidays and costs. On photos there is usually nothing at all. Yet photos are one of the recurring sources of irritation:
- One parent posts photos of the child on social media without asking, even though legally that is a decision you make together
- The weeks at the other home go unrecorded, so the child ends up with half a photo archive
- Grandparents on one side lose touch with photos of their grandchild
Three lines in the plan prevent all of that: no public posting without agreement, both parents add to one shared timeline, and close family on both sides get access to it. It takes five minutes with the mediator and saves years of hassle.
What a parenting plan app does
An app like this helps you carry out the parenting plan. Think of:
- Calendar. Who has the children when, clear to both parents.
- Communication. Messages about the children, kept apart from private conversations.
- Expenses. Keeping track of who pays for what.
- Documents. Storing agreements, school reports and medical information.
- Memories. Photos and milestones, for both parents.
Parenting plan apps compared for the Netherlands
2houses. A Belgian app, fully available in Dutch. It has a calendar, messaging, a photo album and a financial overview. Paid after a 14-day trial (from €8.99 a month). Servers in Europe. The strongest all-round choice for the Dutch market. See also our comparison of 2houses alternatives.
OurFamilyWizard. Market leader in the US, also available in the Netherlands. A strong logging feature: messages are recorded and can be used in court. English interface, US servers. Fairly expensive: around €100 a year per parent. See also: OurFamilyWizard alternatives for the Netherlands.
AppClose. Free basic version with a calendar and messaging. Less extensive than 2houses, but easy to get started with. English-language and on US servers.
Ouderliefde. Not a planning app; the focus is on the memory side of co-parenting: keeping photos, videos and milestones together. Available in English and Dutch, GDPR-compliant, European servers. Free basic version with co-parent support.
Planning plus memories: two apps that complement each other
A planning app is a working document for the parents. A memory app is a timeline your child will look back on later. Those two roles hardly overlap, so the combination works well:
- 2houses or OurFamilyWizard for the practical side: calendar, communication, expenses
- Ouderliefde for the emotional side: memories, photos, milestones
What to look for when choosing
GDPR compliance and European servers. For communication about your children and for storing photos of them, you want the data kept in Europe and covered by European privacy law.
Use in legal proceedings. If communication with the other parent is ever needed in a legal case, some apps are better set up for that than others. OurFamilyWizard in particular.
Whether the other parent will actually use it. The app both parents really open works better than the technically superior app one of you ignores. Being in your own language and easy to start with helps.
Cost per parent. Some apps charge per parent. That doubles the cost if you both want Premium.
Which app suits you
For planning, 2houses is the strongest option in Dutch. For keeping memories, so that your child later has a complete story from both parents, Ouderliefde is a free place to start.
Both apps can be tried for free. You don't have to choose straight away.
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